Delusions of Randomness

To paraphrase Jon Stewart’s intro for Daily Show correspondent Lewis Black, “Sometimes a news story falls through the cracks, here to catch them is Chris Vining, with his column, Delusions of Randomness.” So I will touch upon stories that didn’t get big headlines, but are still important.


Baseball
The Red Sox finally decided to give Terry Francona (the most successful Sox manager in decades) a three-year contract extension. Francona is now signed through 2011, and as long as nothing drastic changes (Manny Ramirez goes insane and tries to mentor upcoming prospects)he has a great chance to lead the Red Sox to another World Series Championship in the next four years. Francona is a class act and does a great job of handling the Boston media.

Kudos to the Red Sox for signing Bartolo Colon to a minor league contract this week. Curt Schilling will be lucky if he can pitch with any effectiveness again, and Colon is a low risk (and cost) investment to make sure the Sox have depth in the rotation. Colon is not the Cy Young pitcher he was, and despite being an injury risk, he provides Clay Buchholz a chance to be brought along slowly. If the Sox can get anything above twenty starts they would be in a great position, as Colon can still pitch when he is on his game. For those people complaining about the rich getting richer, Colon was still unsigned when Spring Training opened, and was signed for chump change. He was more than fair game.

The Tampa Bay Rays dropped the “Devil” from their name but they might sign the Devil to their roster. Barry Bonds has arisen as a target for Tampa, which might not be as bad of an idea as it sounds. The Rays are young and talented, and Bonds would take a rapidly improving offense to dangerous levels. Bonds would also provide insurance for Cliff Floyd and Roco Baldelli. If Evan Longoria can be effective in the Majors this year, than the Rays have one of the top 10 offenses in baseball, and that is without Bonds. Adding the *All-Time Home Run King* would make the Rays a Wild Card threat, but the health of Scott Kazmir and Troy Percival will be key factors toward the Rays’ quest to get out of the AL East cellar.

Koby Clemens has been caught in a very tough spot for the Astros. While he is in Major League Spring Training he is subject to the substance advise of Miguel Tejada. If/when Koby is sent to Minor League Camp he will have his father to talk with. The younger Clemens should say he has visa problems and skip camp, or show up for another teams’ Spring Training.

Not only is Jonathan Papelbon the best young closer in baseball he showed that he could bust a move during the playoffs, and people took notice. Paps was offered a spot as a contestant on Dancing With the Stars, however he turned it down when he realized he had to dance to music that wasn’t played by the Dropkick Murphys.


Football
Zach Thomas and Jason Taylor are family, and were teammates on the Dolphins up until Bill Parcells rolled into town. Taylor is now working on his footwork as a member of the Dancing With the Stars cast. Thomas was pushed into the unemployment line until Jerry Jones offered Thomas a chance to play in his home state of Texas. Thomas will make the Cowboys better on defense, even if his skills are diminishing. His knowledge and leadership will be key to the Cowboys defense, and his locker room presence cannot be underestimated. He also hates vacationing during bye weeks.

The Atlanta Falcons won the coin flip to give them the third pick in the upcoming NFL Draft. The downside is that the Falcons have so many holes that they could have used a lower pick. The benefit is that more players would be off the board so they would have an easier time picking which player will be blamed for a string of losing seasons.

Peter King of Sports Illustrated predicted that the Giants would win the Super Bowl against the Patriots if they could apply consistent pressure on Brady. He also suggested the Giants might win if they could outscore the Patriots. I am a Peter King fan but my three year old knew the game was in trouble when the Pat’s line had trouble blocking the rush.

Rex Grossman was resigned to a one year, three million-dollar contract by the Chicago Bears. No seriously, the Bears resigned him and Kyle Orton in the same week. That is a punch line, but I can’t even come up with a joke.


Basketball
Former players Keith Van Horn and Aaron McKie were included in trades despite not being active players. In an attempt to bolster their roster the Celtics had a trade in place to send Bob Cousy to Memphis for Mike Conley. Memphis was looking to add veteran leadership and cut payroll (Cousy was making 5 figures in his last contract) and the deal was perfect for both sides. The trade fell through at the last minute when Memphis was unable to find a pair of shorts short enough for Cousy to wear.

Yao Ming suffered a stress fracture in his foot and now will be out for the season. While this is a shot to the Rockets playoff chances, the worse news is that Yao’s backup is Dikembe Mutombo, who has scored a whopping seven points this season. The Rockets do not have any players 6’10’’ or taller besides Steve Novak, who weighs in at a massive 220 pounds and has played less than fifty career games.

Sam Cassell has asked to be bought out of his contract with the Los Angeles Clippers so he can sign with (most likely) Boston or Denver. What makes Sam I Am even more attractive is that he has already missed 15 games due to injuries this year. When questioned about his health Cassell had this to say, “The Celtics are getting damaged goods if I do go over there," Cassell said. "But I'll be all right." Nothing says sign me like that quote.


NASCAR
Dale Earnhardt Jr. has a new team but the same winning ways. Junior hasn’t been allowed in the winner’s circle in over five-dozen races. Maybe he should spend less time doing commercials and spend more time on figuring out why his engines keep blowing up. Just a thought, I’m no car expert.


Hockey
The trade deadline just passed and players were moving all over North America (except to Mexico, there is no ice there). The Penguins acquired Marian Hossa, the top forward available, and the player that can put the Penguins in position for a Stanley Cup run. Wait, Penguins adding payroll? Weren’t they going to be sold and moved to Canada earlier this year?

In what has become an all too familiar scenario, the Boston Bruins promised to be active at the trade deadline but failed to bring in anyone at all, even a fourth line bench warmer. The Bruins are clinging to a playoff spot but are falling fast. Why are season ticket sales down again?

That is all I have this week, remember if you heard it here first you need to pay closer attention to real sports reporters! I will be back when I return.

Can the Cavaliers Really Contend?

LeBron having a supporting cast = Good
This supporting cast = Not So Good

With seconds remaining before the NBA trade deadline the Cleveland Cavaliers remade their roster surrounding LeBron James. The Cavs orchestrated a three way trade with Seattle and Chicago, a deal that allowed them to jettison bad contracts (Larry Hughes), moody players (Drew Gooden), and spare parts (Ira Newble, Shannon Brown, Cedric Simmons, and Donyell Marshall). Cleveland was able to bring in four players that can make an immediate impact, Seattle guard Delonte West and forward Wally Sczerbiak, and Bulls forwards Ben Wallace and Joe Smith. Despite bringing in a serious upgrade in talent, the Cavs might be worse off in the short run, and are far from being the favorites in the Eastern Conference.

There is little doubt that LeBron James is the best player in basketball, and he led the Cavaliers to the NBA Finals last year with very little consistent support. Zydrunas Ilgauskas has been an All-Star caliber center in the past, but he has been on a decline the last two years, and too much weight has been placed on his shoulders. Shooting guard Sasha Pavlovic and power forward/center Anderson Varejao were the sparks that helped Cleveland exceed expectations last year, but both have been out with injuries for a month. Varejao could be back in a week, but Pavlovic’s return is still a month away. Cleveland had recently been fueled by a poor mans’ Allen Iverson (shooting guard in a point guards’ body) Daniel Gibson, but he just injured his ankle and is likely out for at least a month. Once these players return the Cavs will be much improved, but will the team have any chemistry?

While the Cavs would have preferred to add an impact star (Shawn Marion, Pau Gasol, Jason Kidd, or Michael Bibby) as opposed to revamping their entire roster mid-season, this shake up was a necessity to turn around the team’s performance. The issue with this trade is that the Cavaliers will certainly have more depth, but they still don’t have any impact players besides LeBron James. All four of the new players are having sub-par years compared to their career averages, and only Delonte West isn’t on the downward slope of his career. Will the Cavs really be able to compete for a title this year?

So how will these new acquisitions fit in with the Cavs? Joe Smith is a veteran that can play power forward and center, giving Zydrunas Ilgauskas a chance to stay fresh during the stretch run and playoffs. Since Larry Hughes was sent to Chicago and Gibson and Pavlovic are hurt, Cleveland lacks a shooting guard. Delonte West is a true point guard that has been shuffled from the point to shooting guard since college. The issue is that West shoots less than forty percent from the floor as a shooting guard, and James handles the ball as much as most point guards. Wally Sczerbiak may see the most time at shooting guard, however he is a defensive liability and lacks the speed to keep up with any guard in the NBA. Sczerbiak is a pure small forward, but LeBron will not be losing any minutes to him. Wally is a big contract and good scorer but has no place to play without compromising more than he offers. The real problem in this deal is Ben Wallace and his contract. Wallace has a wealth of playoff experience, but he cannot score, and his defense and rebounding has dropped immensely since leaving Chicago. Wallace has gone from star to liability almost overnight, and Joe Smith and Drew Gooden are better than Wallace at this point in his career. Wallace’s reputation as a star may keep Anderson Varejao on the bench more than he should be, thus hurting the Cavs playoff chances.

The Cleveland Cavaliers will be a major force for any team that plays them in the playoffs; at least once they are healthy. Teams like Boston, Detroit, and even Orlando now have a better chance at beating the Cavs in a playoff series because of the players the Cavaliers acquired. Once healthy, the Cavs have no true point guard, undersized and average shooting guards, the best small forward duo in basketball, and too many players to get serious minutes at power forward in center. You may say the Cavs have depth, and they do. What they don’t have is a clear distinction between starters and backups. Expect a lot of lineup juggling around LeBron and Ilgauskas. The Cavs are battling for a first round playoff series at home, however they are giving up more points per game than they are scoring, a trend that looks to continue until the entire roster is healthy. Last year the Cavs rode their hot hands to the NBA Finals, but they now have more players to put on the floor and fewer players that can score. The Cavs may have made a big splash at the trade deadline, but they are far from being the realistic favorite to repeat in the East. King James may be ecstatic that he has new teammates, but that may change once they all take the floor together.

Super Bowl Conspiracy

The Giants won the Super Bowl fair and square, they knew what they had to do to disrupt the Patriots and they did. I am not taking their win away from them at all. The Patriots had plenty of time in the game to make adjustments, but it was too little too late, and they made some bad decisions. For the first time all year the ball didn't bounce the Patriots way.

However I would be remiss if I didn't share this tidbit I found that shows something was up with the clock in the final two minutes. Click the link and watch for yourself. The video isn't great but it is explained very well and shows that there was a questionable finish to that game that nobody is talking about.

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=27384

This link shows a video of how the refs screwed over the Pats in the last 90+ seconds of the Super Bowl. The funny thing is that the issues the person mentions (uncalled penalties, clock issues) are not reviewable. I thought something seemed wrong watching the last part of the game, and I was positive I saw the game clock go from :58 to :59 before a play.

The Pats should have tried to go for a field goal, but this shows the Giants never even had enough time to get the touchdown pass off. If the clock was run correctly than the plays would have been different and they still may have scored, but we will never know.

Move over 1985 Draft Ewing Envelope, we have a new New York conspiracy.

LeBron James Shut Up

Being the best basketball player on the planet must give LeBron James the ability to get away with comments that make him sound like a moron. When Shaq was traded to Phoenix for Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks, both James and Cavaliers coach Mike Brown were pleased to see The Diesel join the Western Conference, but they were remiss that talented players were not coming to the East, especially to Cleveland. The Cavs have had their once promising season turn somewhat grim after injuries to Sasha Pavlovic and Anderson Varejao. The Cavs have been left depleted and lacking in firepower outside of James, especially with the streaky play of Zydrunas Ilgauskas and Larry Hughes. What LeBron needs to realize is that Cleveland isn’t going to get another star player soon, and the East is better and deeper than last year.

For years the Western Conference has been better and deeper than the Easter Conference, almost on par with the difference between the American and National Leagues in baseball. The balance of power is shifting with Toronto and Orlando becoming legitimate threats instead of cellar dwellers. If memory serves me correctly one of the biggest free agent signings this offseason was the Magic signing Rashard Lewis, who played in the Western Conference. Also the team with the best record in basketball, the Boston Celtics, traded for two Western Conference All-Stars (Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett) and only had to give up one player that is even close to being a star (Al Jefferson). Even the trade of Shaq means more to the Suns than the Heat only because they can win a title with him. The Heat have the worst record in basketball and that is with Shaq out hurt and Dwyane Wade battling injuries. Shawn Marion is a 20 point 10 rebound player for 82 games a year while Shaq’s numbers (15 points 8 rebounds) have been on the decline the last three years and is lucky to play in 2/3 of his teams’ games. At this point Shaq’s name is better than his game, and Marion is an All-Star caliber player. This deal is a steal for the East.

It would be tough to argue that the Cleveland Cavaliers aren’t in rough shape, despite being the fourth seed in the Eastern Conference. They are in strapped with the salary cap unless another team is willing to take on Larry Hughes’s ridiculous contract (get Isiah Thomas on the phone). The team doesn’t have a true point guard, Hughes plays the point as an out of position shooting guard. LeBron handles and distributes the ball the way Michael Jordan did in his prime, with the offense revolving around him. Zydrunas Ilgauskas is an All-Star center but his play has been sporadic and he is on the down slope of his career due to injuries. Drew Gooden is an average at best power forward and the backup guards are offensive minded without enough offense, defense, or playmaking ability. The Cavs have LeBron and whoever else decides to contribute on a given night. There isn’t another playoff caliber team in the NBA that is so devoid of talent surrounding their top option.



How the Cavaliers are as good as they are remains a mystery. While you can’t fault James for wanting a second fiddle, the Cavs continue to shoot themselves in the foot and end up unable to make a move that would be of any real long-term benefit. The Cavs are one solid player away from a title, but one injury away from being a middle of the road team without playoff hopes. A serious injury to LeBron and the Cavs are lottery bound. King James can complain all he wants, but unless the Cavs can find someone willing to play in Cleveland for pennies on the dollar than they will be a one man show not talented enough to win a title for the next several years.

According to an ESPN Story here are the quotes in question

"Unbelievable," James said after practice Wednesday. "That's all I got. It's unbelievable."When James was asked if being paired with Kidd, his teammate last summer on the U.S. national team, could win the Cavs their first championship, "Yeah," James said. "It's that easy.""It helps," he said with a laugh. "It does help when you have guys on the team that are perennial All-Stars or can go out there and produce every night and you know what you're going to get.""It can mess up the chemistry a little bit and it could take a little longer for them to fit in, maybe not," he said. "The reward is you get a good player. Like the Lakers, they got a guy [Gasol] who has averaged 20 [points] and 12 [rebounds] for his whole career. Last night, Kobe Bryant gets six points and the Lakers win by 15, that's the reward.

Patriots Cheating or Jets bitter?

Whenever the topic of the New England Patriots recent audiovisual scandal was mentioned one though jumped to the forefront of my mind. Hemorrhoid cream. Strange I know, but it is a quasi-logical progression of mind ramblings that makes at least some sense. Eric Mangini was once a Patriots defensive coordinator who left to coach the New York Jets, a job the Bill Belichick didn’t think was the best fit for him. Since that time Mangini has been determined to use any and all means he has at his disposal to hurt his former club. He signed free agents that didn’t have any real spot on the Jets roster, but their departure left a void for the Patriots. Mangini has seemed focused on beating his former boss, almost to the point of obsession. If the Patriots had been violating league rules than it is possible that a former employee would know what to look for and where to look (especially if he was the beneficiary of information while with the Patriots).

Take a stroll down memory lane almost a quarter century ago to another game in New York, this time at Yankee Stadium. New York Yankees manager Billy Martin (in his 6th of 14th stint as Yankees manager) had inside information that Kansas City Royals future Hall of Fame third baseman George Brett had an illegal amount of pine tar on his bat. When Brett hit a go ahead home run in the ninth inning, Martin used the information he knew about the illegal bat (information which he had been keeping secret until he needed it) to convince the umpires that Brett had broken the rules. The umpires agreed, the home run was negated, and George Brett produced one of the most famous tirades in sports history. After MLB officials decided that Brett didn’t “Break the spirit of the rules” the game continued and the Royals won. George Brett went on to become the most famous Preparation-H spokesperson ever, and Billy Martin became yet another bitter New York coach.

So Eric Mangini takes his inside information, squeals once the Patriots beat his team, and gets revenge on his former employer. If the Patriots were not videotaping or using radio signals to help beat the Jets they may have only won by 17 not by 24 (38-14). The Jets are a fringe playoff team at best, and even if the Pats did cheat, they didn’t need to to beat the Jets. The last thing you want to do is piss off Bill Belichick and the Patriots, and San Diego found that out in a big way on Sunday, losing 38-14. San Diego was a Super Bowl favorite and the Patriots simply abused them for sixty minutes Sunday night, just like how Sixty Minutes abuses common sense earlier on Sunday nights. The Patriots have already been fined and forced to forfeit a first round pick (they won’t miss the playoffs and have to give up the second and third round picks) and it seems like Mangini will do anything he can to try to get the Pats to be forced to forfeit their win. Are the Jets that desperate for a win? Well, they should be.

A few things strike me as unusual about this entire situation, besides that one of the best coaches ever felt the need to try to evade the rules. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell was interviewed before the Patriots/Chargers game and he seemed to be hiding that this story still had a few chapters left, and that he expected that there would be more issues for the Pats in the future (and the questions about which first round pick the Pats would have to give up seemed to surprise him, almost as if he didn’t know that the Pats own the 49ers first rounder next year). During the game we were informed that the Jets are now accusing the Patriots of using radio transmitters in the defensive players helmets in an attempt to relay signals to try to shut down the Jets anemic offense. Despite missing Pro Bowl defensive end Richard Seymour with a knee injury, Pro Bowl safety Rodney Harrison to a league suspension, and only getting limited action from Pro Bowl cornerback Asante Samuel, the Patriots still dominated the Jets (and Chargers as well). The Patriots don’t need any help to dominate; they don’t even need their best players on the field.

When John Madden was talking about the usefulness of videotaping opponents, he actually made an insightful comment, which is a news story in itself. Madden commented that he never needed video because it took away from natural coaching instincts, and created too much confusion. With only seconds before each snap, substituting personnel and changing formations seems to be a bit prohibitive to running a smooth defense. This would be a very uncharacteristic and reactionary tactic for a coach like Belichick that prides himself on making teams adjust to what he brings to the table.

Now that the Patriots have to turn over any and all notes, video, audio, and who knows what else, to the NFL will this show the Pats have been cheating, or that one former coach was a bit bitter? While most coaches seem to be against Mangini, you can’t fault him for trying to protect his team. In the end it won’t make a difference, the Patriots will cruise to the AFC East Crown, finish first or second in the AFC, and will make the AFC Championship, if not advance even further. With scandal surrounding this team, the Patriots are the one franchise that has consonantly been able to thrive when their backs are against the wall, and this team will be no different, just don’t hold your breath waiting for Tom Brady to endorse rectal cream.