Obama the Baller

As our country transitions to a more complex and politically charged atmosphere it is a refreshing change to see the supposed “spoiled” athletes take an active interest in politics. There are currently former professional athletes that are Mayors, Senators, Governors, and Congressmen, and this trend is on an upswing. George W. Bush was a former owner of the Texas Rangers, and numerous politicians own small parts of teams in all four major sports. America now has a politician that would be able to cross the political line and be an athlete. President Obama has an opportunity to become the first sitting politician that is also an active professional athlete. The Washington Wizards basketball team has the opportunity to make history and also help the economy all in one fell swoop. If they extend an invitation for President Obama to join the team, even in a few preseason games, that would help to boost interest in a struggling franchise and generate tremendous revenue. Sporting goods stores across the country and even the world would be selling out of Obama jerseys at an unprecedented rate, thus boosting the economy and helping to solidify sports and politics as the driving force behind the resurgence of the United States of America .

Want to Play For the Boston Celtics

As a Boston Celtics fan for all twenty-eight years of my life I was disheartened to get this email today…

From: Danny Ainge, Boston Celtics General Manager
To: Boston Celtics Fan Club

Let me first say thank you for being the best fans in basketball. Thanks to your support we have won our second straight Atlantic Division Championship! The road is far from over and that is where the C’s need your help. As you know we are currently suffering with a rather serious injury situation. We have had injuries to Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, Rajon Rondo, Leon Powe, Big Baby Davis, Tony Allen, and Brian Scalabrine. We are currently looking for a few superfans to suit up for the Celtics! While you wouldn’t be able to be active for the playoffs, you would be a true member of the team and may even get a chance to play. If you are interested please fill out this application and send it back to me. We can’t wait to see you on the bench in Celtic’s Green.


Questionaire

1. Are you healthy?

2. Do you currently play for another NBA team?
If yes, will they buy you out?

3. Can you pass a physical?

4. Have you ever played in the NBA, CBA, NCAA, NBA D-League, or any European professional league?

5. Do you currently have any injuries?

6. Have you ever played basketball at any level?

7. Seriously, are you healthy?

8. Are you under 50 years old?

9. Can you be here in time for our next game?

If you answered “yes” to at least five of these questions than we will be in contact with you shortly.

Sincerely,
Danny Ainge

The Positive of Steroids for Baseball

Alex Rodriguez deserves a thank you from baseball fans. After Barry Bonds and his steroid filled body passed Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron atop the all-time home run leader board the game felt tarnished. Rodriguez was the clean-cut person destined to knock Bonds off his perch and restore dignity and fair play to baseball’s most cherished record. That dream is now a fallacy, but the more important issue is that home runs might not be part of baseball’s future. Recently championships have been built on pitching, defense, speed, and clutch hitting. Home runs might sell tickets but they don’t win games.

One of the best offensive teams in baseball history was the 1980’s St. Louis Cardinals. They scored runs in bunches (in part thanks to Astroturf) but never had a glut of power hitters. Tom Herr was an All-Star second baseman that once had over 100 RBI in a season while only hitting one home run. ONE! Herr couldn’t hit home runs in batting practice but was a truly effective run producer. He is the model of what baseball players have become. Players that can hit the ball, take a walk, advance a runner, steal a base, and win with their glove and mind, not just with 22 inch pythons.

Dustin Pedroia and Kevin Youkilis were both in the top three of American League MVP voting in 2008. Both players won Gold Gloves and were catalysts for their team. Either player can hit anywhere in the batting order, can get on base, and have some power, but don’t rely on just the longball. Both men are doubles hitters that can drive in runs in a variety of methods. These are the men that are the modern day legends, the players that prove that you don’t need to hit a home run to make a difference for your team. When Barry Bonds complains that he can’t get a job, remind him of the success he had with the Pirates in the 1990’s and how he was a complete player, not just a medicinal freak.